i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
