i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
