I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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