This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
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do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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