He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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