I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
