i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize