i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
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I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
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That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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