Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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