I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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