I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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