He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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