I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
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She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
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First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless