yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
