OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
