Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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