I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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