I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
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I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
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In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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