I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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