Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
