i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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