FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
