I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
