Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.