He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?