i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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