She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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