I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Randomize
