watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
