He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
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There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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