billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize