I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
