Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
