he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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