Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
