I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just blew my weed a kiss
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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