you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just blew my weed a kiss
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
