dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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