You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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