And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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