they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
