Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
