I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
