If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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