I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
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She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
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Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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