So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
