I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
