You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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