I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
