Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
