I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My room smells like vodka and shame
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
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Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
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Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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