You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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