she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
