it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
