I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
