I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
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On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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