As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize